Stress is studying for an AP Physics test. Those Newton Laws…impossible.
Why are there so many forces in the world? Why does gravity exist? Yes, I
understand that life would be a little awkward without gravity, but doesn’t
stress make you illogical? Where do you think that crazy idea about osmosis
came from? I bet some college student was super stressed about his midterms and
he decided to put all of his notes underneath is pillow hoping that the words
would seep in through his brain. I wonder if that worked?
Yellow. If
stress were a color it would be the darkest yellow imaginable, the yellow of
knowledge and practicality edging its way into the red tide of anger. If stress
was edible, it would be a jawbreaker. The huge kind. The kind you stick in your
mouth and can’t move your jaw for at least seventeen hours because it gets
stuck underneath your teeth. If stress was a scent, it would give off slight
wisps of smoke. Wisps that remains underneath your nose no matter how many
times you spin around with the Febreeze bottle.
I’ve heard
rumors that when you are really stressed your head will pop off. I’ve even seen
drawings depicting that. I wonder how many times a person’s head can pop off
before death. If it is less than two, the government needs to start submitting
some Public Service Announcements about stress remover. Hmmm, stress
remover…maybe I should invent that. I could make millions.
To take a
more helpful turn, this is how I would turn the yellow, smoky, jawbreaker of
stress into tranquility. I usually go and take a walk. The hardest part of that
is forcing yourself away from your notes and convincing yourself to see the
sunlight. Once I’m outside I bring out my bubbles and blow them all over my
back yard while singing Disney songs. It is the best stress reliever that is
out there. Reading a book has the same effect, though it might take longer for
the tranquility to set in. An alternative approach is to travel to the beach…or
to Germany.
Caution: this endeavor might take many hours and cost more money than you are
willing to spend.
The good
thing about stress is that it is curable. I think...well, ninety-nine percent
of the time it is curable. It might take months or years but it will wear off.
However, if your stress is lasting more than a couple of hours, then it means
that you got too much to eat. What does that mean? Well, when you look at the
vast buffet of extra-curricular activities, you filled up your plate to quickly
and food is spilling off the edges. I understand, I am in that stress moment
right now. I have an internship twice a week, I am directing two ten minute
pieces for a talent show in November, I am a section editor in my Yearbook
class, and I am an actor in a church drama. Not to mention being in four AP
class and being president of the Drama Club. Am I complaining? No! I love
everything I’m doing right now, but it’s really easy for things to fall off the
edges of my plate.
So, for
this month of October…yummy, smoky, yellow jawbreakers. All month long. Fun!
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