Thursday, October 4, 2012


Stress is studying for an AP Physics test. Those Newton Laws…impossible. Why are there so many forces in the world? Why does gravity exist? Yes, I understand that life would be a little awkward without gravity, but doesn’t stress make you illogical? Where do you think that crazy idea about osmosis came from? I bet some college student was super stressed about his midterms and he decided to put all of his notes underneath is pillow hoping that the words would seep in through his brain. I wonder if that worked?
            Yellow. If stress were a color it would be the darkest yellow imaginable, the yellow of knowledge and practicality edging its way into the red tide of anger. If stress was edible, it would be a jawbreaker. The huge kind. The kind you stick in your mouth and can’t move your jaw for at least seventeen hours because it gets stuck underneath your teeth. If stress was a scent, it would give off slight wisps of smoke. Wisps that remains underneath your nose no matter how many times you spin around with the Febreeze bottle.
            I’ve heard rumors that when you are really stressed your head will pop off. I’ve even seen drawings depicting that. I wonder how many times a person’s head can pop off before death. If it is less than two, the government needs to start submitting some Public Service Announcements about stress remover. Hmmm, stress remover…maybe I should invent that. I could make millions.
            To take a more helpful turn, this is how I would turn the yellow, smoky, jawbreaker of stress into tranquility. I usually go and take a walk. The hardest part of that is forcing yourself away from your notes and convincing yourself to see the sunlight. Once I’m outside I bring out my bubbles and blow them all over my back yard while singing Disney songs. It is the best stress reliever that is out there. Reading a book has the same effect, though it might take longer for the tranquility to set in. An alternative approach is to travel to the beach…or to Germany. Caution: this endeavor might take many hours and cost more money than you are willing to spend.
            The good thing about stress is that it is curable. I think...well, ninety-nine percent of the time it is curable. It might take months or years but it will wear off. However, if your stress is lasting more than a couple of hours, then it means that you got too much to eat. What does that mean? Well, when you look at the vast buffet of extra-curricular activities, you filled up your plate to quickly and food is spilling off the edges. I understand, I am in that stress moment right now. I have an internship twice a week, I am directing two ten minute pieces for a talent show in November, I am a section editor in my Yearbook class, and I am an actor in a church drama. Not to mention being in four AP class and being president of the Drama Club. Am I complaining? No! I love everything I’m doing right now, but it’s really easy for things to fall off the edges of my plate.
            So, for this month of October…yummy, smoky, yellow jawbreakers. All month long. Fun!

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